That’s when you know there is nowhere to look but inwards. When you reach this point, you’re ready to start your healing journey consciously, with the awareness that healing is your intention and living the most loving life you can is the gift you’re ready to give yourself.

Here are my top 5 tips for when you’re ready to start your healing journey:

1. Commitment

Commit to your own healing. Tell yourself that others may have given up on you but you’re not going to give up on yourself. Get clear on your intention. Do you want to live with more joy and purpose? Do you want to find meaningful work? Are you looking for mutually nurturing and caring connections? Write down your intention and remember it regularly. You can even pin it up on the fridge or set reminders in your phone or computer. Reflect on your intention. Feel what it feels like to embody your intention.

2. Make sure you get Support

Don’t try to do it alone. They say we hurt through people and we heal through people, and I firmly believe that. Reading books and listening to helpful youtube channels are definitely amazing ways to educate yourself, have realisations about your situation and promote healing. But these are only one side of the coin. The other side is sharing your vulnerability with a safe person. I stress, a safe person. Oversharing or inappropriate sharing does not lead to genuine healing and will eventually make you feel even more unsupported. Find a friend, a support group or a therapist – or all three of these – to give you the real human support you need to restore your faith in humanity and help you feel seen, heard and understood.

3. Try lots of things

If you try a therapy or a therapist and don’t have good results, don’t give up. Keep trying, keep experimenting. I’ve tried just about every therapy under the sun and you know what, they all helped in some way. There’s no quick fix. Sometimes healing, just like life itself, is an intricate winding path, leading in many directions before coming home.

Don’t just stick to talk therapies. These will only get you so far, and keep you stuck in the mind. Try somatic (body-based) therapies too, including breathwork, trauma release exercises (TRE), Emotional Freedom Technique, yoga, Chi Gung and dance. Be aware of the conversations you have and your surroundings, as life will point you in the right direction and the next best step for you.

4. Have patience

Healing takes time. I know that’s not fun to hear. Believe me, I wish it was instantaneous. But what I’ve noticed is that it’s an ongoing journey and it never ends. As you deal with the bigger issues first, it gets more subtle. The layers of the onion get smaller and thinner. It’s also not linear. Things you thought you had “dealt with” come back. It’s more a spiral. You learn to dance with the twists and turns, rather than seeing them as an inconvenience.

Please be aware that when doing healing work you can feel worse before you feel better. I don’t know why it’s designed that way, but it is. Your life WILL change. And sometimes it’s not all rosy. Things need to re-arrange themselves and this usually comes about through loss. Try to remember that you DO have the strength and the resources to get through it. Don’t isolate yourself, even if you are feeling really terrible. Make sure you have that on-going support there to alleviate the feeling that you have to do this all alone.

5. Notice the victories

Give yourself credit where credit is due. Every day write down 5 things you are proud of yourself for. For example: I’m proud of myself for getting out of bed before 8, I’m proud of myself for making a healthy lunch, I’m proud of myself for the way I spoke up for myself at the office yesterday, I’m proud of myself for saying No to that thing I really didn’t want to do. This exercise will give you an instant boost.

If you notice the things that make you feel proud of yourself these will reveal your true values to you. And that’s how you start to build an authentic life based on your own values.

Then take notice of your victories. Where is your life flowing more smoothly? Where are you feeling more joy and ease in your life and less worry and dread. This will help you see how far you have come and that your commitment to your healing journey is paying off.

Take the time to celebrate your wins.

The post 5 Top Tips on the Healing Journey appeared first on Free Yourself Therapy.

Have you ever been given the advice that you need to learn to love yourself more?
How did it resonate with you when you heard it?

I know I’ve been given this advice in the past and it really annoyed me. But why did it annoy
me? At first I thought it was because I knew that person was right, and that meant I
wasn’t “there” yet, and there was more hard work, more processing of difficult
emotions, followed by more healing and integration, eventually leading to…loving
myself! But as the conversation and the idea surfaced and re-surfaced, I realised
that it annoyed me not because it was true but because it wasn’t true. Loving
yourself isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel after which it’s all
smooth sailing. Loving yourself is an ongoing process, reflected in the moment by moment decisions we
make and the way we relate to ourselves.

So what does it mean to love yourself? I see it as a combination of listening to,
respecting, honouring, appreciating, forgiving and enjoying who you are. And in
order to do that, you need to listen to, respect, honour, appreciate, forgive and enjoy
who you are!!

I’ve found the following exercises to be transformative:

If you find it hard to feel love directed at yourself, close your eyes and picture
someone you love or a pet you love. Feel the love you have for them radiating
from your heart, filling you with joy. Let that smile on your face grow and smile at
yourself internally. Now keep that feeling strong and move your focus from the
loved one to yourself, radiating that love onto and into yourself. It may take you a
couple of tries, but once you have felt this a few times, its effects will permeate
your relationship with yourself. You will be more forgiving and more appreciative
of yourself, and you will feel more energised and lit up.

When you feel in need of comfort because you’re hurt, down or discouraged, instead of
using self-talk to make yourself feel better, try this: stroke the top of your hand with the
other as if you were comforting another person , or cross your arms across your chest
and hold or stroke your upper arms as if you were hugging someone else. There may be
no need for words, simply enjoy how it feels to be comforted, understood and loved. It’s
amazing how much more comforting touch can be than words, when we are feeling
emotional pain.

Often when we feel pain, a situation or person has triggered an old wound. Maybe we
feel rejected or abandoned, or misunderstood or unimportant. Instead of shooting the
messenger, take notice of how you’re feeling and be present with the emotion. That
means sitting still with it and allowing yourself to feel it without running away from it or
finding a distraction. By avoiding the emotion, we never get to process it. If you are able
to go to the source of the emotion and you find that it originates in childhood, do exercise
2 above and imagine that you are comforting yourself as a child.

What these exercises teach us is that sometimes words are not enough. If it’s
comforting you need, try these self-soothing exercises, and you might be surprised
to see that dysfunctional and unhelpful habits like emotional eating, drinking too
much, spending, gaming, or whatever it might be, lose their hold on you.

The post Do you love yourself? appeared first on Free Yourself Therapy.