Doing healing work is no walk in the park. It takes courage, motivation and trust. It’s no wonder many people prefer to stay stuck in the status quo. Looking into our deepest hurts and darkest feelings is scary and takes a lot of courage. We don’t know what we will find and we don’t know what the outcome will be. What if my life will be even worse? Sometimes keeping our eyes closed seems like the easiest option. But when we reach a breaking point we know that something has to change. This could be because you’re experiencing physical symptoms that no doctor can help you with and you just can’t take it anymore. Or you could have reached an all time low in your relationship and can’t seem to see a way forward. Maybe anxiety or depression have reached a level where your life just doesn’t seem worth living any more.

That’s when you know there is nowhere to look but inwards. When you reach this point, you’re ready to start your healing journey consciously, with the awareness that healing is your intention and living the most loving life you can is the gift you’re ready to give yourself.

Here are my top 5 tips for when you’re ready to start your healing journey:

1. Commitment

Commit to your own healing. Tell yourself that others may have given up on you but you’re not going to give up on yourself. Get clear on your intention. Do you want to live with more joy and purpose? Do you want to find meaningful work? Are you looking for mutually nurturing and caring connections? Write down your intention and remember it regularly. You can even pin it up on the fridge or set reminders in your phone or computer. Reflect on your intention. Feel what it feels like to embody your intention.

2. Make sure you get Support

Don’t try to do it alone. They say we hurt through people and we heal through people, and I firmly believe that. Reading books and listening to helpful youtube channels are definitely amazing ways to educate yourself, have realisations about your situation and promote healing. But these are only one side of the coin. The other side is sharing your vulnerability with a safe person. I stress, a safe person. Oversharing or inappropriate sharing does not lead to genuine healing and will eventually make you feel even more unsupported. Find a friend, a support group or a therapist – or all three of these – to give you the real human support you need to restore your faith in humanity and help you feel seen, heard and understood.

3. Try lots of things

If you try a therapy or a therapist and don’t have good results, don’t give up. Keep trying, keep experimenting. I’ve tried just about every therapy under the sun and you know what, they all helped in some way. There’s no quick fix. Sometimes healing, just like life itself, is an intricate winding path, leading in many directions before coming home.

Don’t just stick to talk therapies. These will only get you so far, and keep you stuck in the mind. Try somatic (body-based) therapies too, including breathwork, trauma release exercises (TRE), Emotional Freedom Technique, yoga, Chi Gung and dance. Be aware of the conversations you have and your surroundings, as life will point you in the right direction and the next best step for you.

4. Have patience

Healing takes time. I know that’s not fun to hear. Believe me, I wish it was instantaneous. But what I’ve noticed is that it’s an ongoing journey and it never ends. As you deal with the bigger issues first, it gets more subtle. The layers of the onion get smaller and thinner. It’s also not linear. Things you thought you had “dealt with” come back. It’s more a spiral. You learn to dance with the twists and turns, rather than seeing them as an inconvenience.

Please be aware that when doing healing work you can feel worse before you feel better. I don’t know why it’s designed that way, but it is. Your life WILL change. And sometimes it’s not all rosy. Things need to re-arrange themselves and this usually comes about through loss. Try to remember that you DO have the strength and the resources to get through it. Don’t isolate yourself, even if you are feeling really terrible. Make sure you have that on-going support there to alleviate the feeling that you have to do this all alone.

5. Notice the victories

Give yourself credit where credit is due. Every day write down 5 things you are proud of yourself for. For example: I’m proud of myself for getting out of bed before 8, I’m proud of myself for making a healthy lunch, I’m proud of myself for the way I spoke up for myself at the office yesterday, I’m proud of myself for saying No to that thing I really didn’t want to do. This exercise will give you an instant boost.

If you notice the things that make you feel proud of yourself these will reveal your true values to you. And that’s how you start to build an authentic life based on your own values.

Then take notice of your victories. Where is your life flowing more smoothly? Where are you feeling more joy and ease in your life and less worry and dread. This will help you see how far you have come and that your commitment to your healing journey is paying off.

Take the time to celebrate your wins.